Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He kissed a someone with a penis
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
