but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
