i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We left the knife in your bed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize