Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
