that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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