i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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