I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
