I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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