I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
We left an ass print on the piano.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You ruined the universe
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
