What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
