You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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