so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I am available for nakedness
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
