You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
