yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
