im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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