You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My butt remains clenched, sir.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
