watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
