She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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