I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
