1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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