Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
