i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
