I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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