Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
