I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
high people should be assigned attendants
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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