Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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