i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
