Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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