I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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