I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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