I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
