i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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