hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
