I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
