we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's shark week go big or go home
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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