you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
