I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Randomize
