My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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