but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
