Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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