let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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