I love black thongs
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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