So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
