Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
