I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
they need to just BURY HIM!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
