Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
