When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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