wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
