ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
