I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
