So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
