I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
