i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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