i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
