whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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