If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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